Date #3: OK Fine Sex

Everything is almost regular again

In 2023, Ashley went on a new first date every week of the year until she fell in love. In 2025, she’s revisiting these weekly pieces on Deep Trouble to see how well this experiment really worked.

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Originally published 1/17/2023, Updated on 1/20/2025

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I know I said only a week ago that flirting was fun again, but I burned through that like a copy of Spare¹. Once you get back into the rhythm of checking dating apps, replying to texts and actually going out to meet people, the thrill goes away quickly. In fact, friends quickly pointed out that one date a week was actually pretty low for me. Hell, in my twenties, I used to stack multiple dates into a day². I saw a woman do this on Tiktok and people were VERY angry with her as though this were a new thing she invented, but people across the gender spectrum have been doing this for centuries.

Checking in from 2025 here to say that a clear example of this is pretty much how mad Twitter gets any time I mention polyamory. They simply cannot think of a reality where a woman knows she is polyamorous, is happy with that choice and is so firm in it, she can joke about it. It’s a reminder of just…how online the whole being online thing is. I can’t say in my actual every day life any online conversation around my relationships has been accurate.

Recently, I haven’t wanted to go on 52 first dates, but I have wanted to socialize again. It’s been years since I’ve cared enough about going out to have a regular dive bar. I hangout with my friends and the people I like, but I used to be outside. Just truly, outside. If I can read 100 dumb opinions a day on Twitter, why not go outside and meet people who probably won’t have very online opinions? I still live in Los Angeles, but it’s gotta be better than reading tweets from people who weren’t alive during the Bush administration.³